


195. Same Old Nightmare

by tveckling



Series: Dare to Write challenge [17]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, It all ended well, Lexa didn't die, There are still scars in the mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 18:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7694602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tveckling/pseuds/tveckling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa has learned to recognize the trembling and the weak whimpers, and now she is always awake before the screams start. Sometimes she can't wake Clarke in time, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	195. Same Old Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ambrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrose/gifts).



_Clarke watches as Lexa gasps, her eyes wide and teary. She opens shaky lips but no words come out, just a bloody bubble of air. Blood runs nonstop from the wound in her chest, and Clarke can't do anything about it. She is frozen in place, forced to watch as Lexa falls to her knees, her eyes never leaving Clarke's._

_Clarke thinks she's screaming but the silence is deafening and she can't hear anything. She tries to move her arms, her hands, her fingers, anything, but nothing happens. Blood is pooling out beneath Lexa, but Clarke still can't do anything. There is a small noise, more like a buzzing, as she tries to scream, again and again and again. She thinks she is crying._

_Her whole body is shaking by her effort to move. All she wants to do is rush forward, to catch Lexa in her arms, to do something. She opens her mouth and tries to scream and—_

A sharp pain made Clarke jerk upwards. Her cheek was aching, her throat was aching, her eyes were aching.

"Clarke."

Slowly, almost not daring to, Clarke moved her head. There, next to her and with a worried expression sat Lexa, in her nightgown. Unharmed. The scar in the middle of her chest was proof that Clarke wasn't dreaming, but she still reached out a shaky hand to touch it. Lexa allowed her, even put one of her own hands on top of Clarke's.

"You're here, in Polis, in our room. You're safe," Lexa said slowly, calmly.

It made the tears fall from Clarke's eyes in new force as she threw herself on Lexa and clutched her close. Lexa held her as tightly, murmured comforting words in her ear until she had calmed down. Not until then did they lie down again, Clarke still keeping a close grip on Lexa. The scar was within her eyesight the whole time.

"I dreamed that you died," Clarke murmured, barely loud enough for the words to be heard.

"I guessed that was it." Lexa rubbed a soothing circle on Clarke's shoulder. "You were screaming and crying. You only do that when it's that dream."

Clarke pushed closer, nestling her face into the crook between Lexa's neck and shoulder, and breathed in hard. "It's been over two years, why do I keep having it? Every time I get so scared that you'll die, and it feels like it's some sort of premonition. And I'm always so scared of letting you go after, because I feel like I'll never see you again if I don't keep you in my arms."

"We both know that when death comes for either of us there will be nothing to stop it." The tone of Lexa's voice was matter-of-fact, like she was talking about some new political discussion she'd been part of. If it hadn't been for her thumb still rubbing against her shoulder Clarke would have argued against using that tone. "It was close, that day, and if you hadn't managed to keep me alive until your mother got here I would have died. I understand that the memory frightens you so; it frightens me too."

"Really?" Clarke huffed lightly. "You never seem like it. Always so confident, and throwing yourself into more and more dangers. One would think you didn't feel fear."

"You, if anyone, knows that's not true. I fear all the time, for everything." Lexa paused, and Clarke listened to her breathe. "I'm scared for the coalition and the peace we have, I'm scared for my people and that I can't stop all their suffering, and yes, I am frightened when I think back about how close I was to dying. But mostly, Clarke, I'm scared of losing you, of never getting to see your face or hear your voice again. Sometimes I lie awake and worry just about that." Lexa shifted until she could kiss Clarke's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," Clarke answered with closed eyes. Talking with Lexa always managed to calm her down, and it did help to hear that she, too, worried. That Clarke wasn't the only one being scared.

"Go back to sleep," Lexa murmured. "I'll be here, right next to you."

"You better be." Clarke smiled and snuggled against Lexa, making herself comfortable. With her head against Lexa's chest she could hear Lexa's heartbeats, and it didn't take long until the sound lulled her back to sleep.


End file.
